I spent the last week training at a location far from my base. It was very exhausting, but a ton of fun. We finally shot our guns – we learned to shoot from multiple positions, many different strategies, and during the day and when it was pitch black out. I had 100% accuracy, including the night shoot, which was a ton of fun. I think we shot maybe a total of 50 bullets or so. We also had a physical competition with 10 other units, and my unit came in second. The location was full of really thorny plants, so every time we had to go prone (which seemed like more often than not) it was very painful. We were still picking the thorns out of our body when we found them in the shower back at the base.

We did a lot of recon training both during the day and night, along with some physical training (jumping a wall, climbing a rope, elbow crawling, etc). Food consisted of pretty much just cans of tuna and olives for breakfast, lunch and dinner, each day. Good thing I enjoy tuna! We also had to rotate guard duty in the middle of the night, along with simulated terrorist attacks. We didn’t change our underwear or socks for 3 days (smeeeelly). We also slept outside in just a sleeping bag with our guns strapped to ourselves, no tents or anything like that.

That’s about all I can talk about. I am going to look at an apartment in Haifa Sunday morning, so my guess is I will be moving there in a week or two. I will be living with another soldier from my unit.

Also, I finally found a can of Dr. Pepper at a little store in Tel Aviv, wow so delicious! I hadn’t had one in 3 months!

I woke up this morning at 3:30am so I could come home, and here I am. I’m a little sick and pretty exhausted, so I’ve slept a lot today since I got home. Half of my unit has the flu and were out of duty for almost the entire week..hope it doesn’t turn into that.

It was a really big week and very busy. I learned some basic medic training, such as how to treat a soldier with a limb missing. I also learned about gas masks, and information regarding atomic, biological, and chemical attacks. We got our guns on Sunday and have to carry them with us at all times. We don’t have live ammo yet, so we don’t have to take them home..but we do have to sleep with them under our pillows and even take them to the showers. We did shoot blanks with a laser scope and hit 6/6 shots. We then learned how to shoot a gun (still without bullets) properly from standing, kneeling and prone positions, along with how to fix a gun that is in the middle of malfunctioning for varies reasons. The army radio was also something we were taught how to use.
Next week we will spend out in the field, doing real field exercises with live ammo. I think it will also include learning how to properly do guard duty and such. In a few weeks we will stay for the weekend and do guard duty, and then 2-3 weeks after that we will stay another weekend for another term of guard duty on the base.

We did a lot more physical exercises as well, including a fitness test so they can see where we fall. This included as many pushups and situps we could do without stopping, and then a 2km run. Of course, the fitness test was after a few days, after we were all exhausted already!!

One of the soldiers from my unit was at a club last week in Tel Aviv. He wasn’t in uniform of course, but when he went to pee in the bathroom a guy walked in and punched him once in the arm, and then once in the eye…then just left. His eye was black and blue and swollen. Hilarious. Eli, if you read this…sorry.

I came home late last night from the army. I got an extra day off because of the holiday here. The army is tough…the commanders will only speak in Hebrew, they are not allowed to speak in English. So, we are emerged into fast conversational Hebrew and must respond in Hebrew. It is mentally exhausting, but my Hebrew has already gotten much better in just a few days. This week was a little chaotic because of testing and a lot of paperwork. Next week we start hand to hand combat and weapons training.

My unit is a good group of guys. It is 10 of us and half are American, and then 3 Russians, a guy from Holland and a guy from France. Technically right now I am only signed up for 6 months (because of my age)..but I requested to be in a specific unit. I will know after 3 months if I get this position, and if I am then I will have to sign more time..otherwise I’ll be home in 6 months, I think.

When you shower you definitely see a lot of butt..but at least there are dividers, just no curtain. Also, the toilets have doors – hooray! I sleep in a room with the entire unit; we have 5 bunk beds. You can imagine it is hot and smelly..right now I don’t sleep too well there.

My commander is nice and very beautiful..makes it hard to focus sometimes

I rode the train yesterday for free in my uniform, it made me feel very important. 3 people also asked me for help at the train. When I was in my civilian clothing that never happened – oh how a uniform changes perception! (yes I was able to help them too!)

The food is good, I actually enjoy it. Although, we only get 10 minutes to eat so the enjoyment doesn’t last too long.

We get up about 5:30 every morning to go running and do pushups/situps. I am also getting a really good tan.

This is all I can think of for now..I report back Sunday morning.

Today, I am a civilian. Tomorrow, I am a soldier.

I don’t know how often I’ll be able to blog..probably not very often at all. The best way to get a hold of me will be by email, because I won’t have my iPhone for texts.
Talk to you all soon.

The other day I had a meeting for lone soldiers, which had maybe 10 other Americans. They were all about 20 years old. I am actually considered old here, which has made some issues for me in the army. Who knew 23 was an old man?! One kid asked during the meeting if he ever had to sleep. The room just got quiet and they didn’t even know how to respond. One of the organization leaders just said, “um..don’t worry, we’ll make sure you sleep.” Idiot.

I finished all of my testing and all that jazz. My first day in uniform will be Sunday, April 22nd. The whole process up until this point consisted of a lot of red tape and bureaucracy, I really hope all of that is behind me now. I will be living up north for 3 months to complete Ulpan, which is pre-basic training an Hebrew studies. The first 4 weeks are physical fitness, firearms training, and traditional army discipline. The next 8 weeks will be physical fitness in the morning and Hebrew study from 9am to 8pm. After Ulpan, I will have 1-2 months of harder basic training, which will be followed by 1-3 months of job training. After that, then I will start my real position in the army. I won’t know what the position will actually be until I finish Ulpan, as it depends on how well I score on the final Hebrew test. They tell me it will probably have something to do with what I studied in college.

At some point, not sure when, I will most likely be moving into a 4-bedroom apartment with 3 other lone soldiers. The army will cover the cost of rent, but not food or items I need in the house. The salary I will be receiving is less than $200 a month..sure hope that it’s enough to cover food for a month, considering I will most likely have a position that releases me every night to go home instead of sleeping on base..meaning I need to pay for dinner meals every night as well. Yikes!

I am very excited to start the training and especially meet a few friends along the way..

I went to Golan Heights (which is the North East part of Israel that borders Syria). It is a very beautiful place. Before it was Israeli territory, it belonged to Syria. There is a lot of fencing around the area you are not allowed to visit because it is filled with live mines from around 1967. A few years ago, some kids decided to see if there really were live mines in the area. Needless to say, they didn’t get to report back on that one. Although, one did live through the mine blast, but not for long. As he was being rescued by helicopter, he fell and died. Final Destination much?

To the start the morning, we had some breakfast next to some retired tanks. It was my first time seeing them that up close – thrilling! Anyway, we hiked for about 4 or 5 hours. Definitely exhausting, but fantastic. We tried to go in the water in some areas, but it was so freezing we didn’t get far. I made it the farthest and it was only halfway to the waterfall. It literally felt the blood in my body was just stopping! There were also some cows and bulls in the mountain. At one point, a bull charged at our group and the first thing I thought of was – “I really hope this bull doesn’t hit me, I don’t have insurance!” We pulled a Matrix and dodged the bull..he left us alone after that.

In case you want Opium, Golan Heights has that too.

Our pointman said the path went in a circle so we could get back to the car after. Of course it didn’t. So, he had to hitchhike back to the car and pick us up. That entire process took a little over an hour..guess we really did hike far! After that, we had a nice barbeque to put an end to Passover.

After that, it was a nice two hour drive home and suppressed stomach valve that was very happy to finally release.

I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what kind of work I want to do the rest of my life. Really, my conclusion is I want to try many different career paths – I hate staying in one spot for too long of a time. Being content for an extended period of time is like throwing in the towel in my opinion.

I don’t really like writing, but I have an idea for a great screenplay – I think I’ll write the outline now. Once I come back to the United States, maybe I’ll take some acting classes. I will also find some talented-agentless actors and become their agent. I better take some singing lessons too in case I get cast for something like Chicago or Burlesque. I’d also like to open a club and own a security company (maybe even work for the government too). I think I can also fit in some time to get my pilot’s license.

This brings me to my next point – I don’t really have any hobbies. There are things I like to do, such as playing tennis/basketball and shooting out in the desert. But, there is nothing that I have a huge passion for. I can barely even keep up with this blog. I am on the hunt for a hobby that can make me feel passionate. Right now I feel like I am too much of a cynical (or realistic in my opinion) person to find something that really strikes my fancy.

Don’t do it. They are the worst drivers I have ever seen! It’s like Los Angeles on crack. They take off as quick as possible and wait to slow down until the last minute so they slam on the breaks and end up centimeters away from the car in front of them. When the red light turns to yellow (as a warning it will be turning green), if you haven’t started going yet the honking will begin. And believe me, it does not stop! Every red light there is always honking, and a lot of it.

When I spent a night in Tel Aviv, I was woken up at 5 in the morning to continuous beeping and yelling. The entire morning was like this. During testing for the army, there was actually a point where 2 different cars kept their hands on the horn for the entire red light. That wasn’t frustrating at all. They seem to be very nervous drivers and all in a hurry.

It’s the same way on the train. Instead of trying to board one by one after people exit the train, lets all go at the same time to make it as difficult as possible to board.

The majority of cars I have seen all have dents or scratches as well. People just don’t give a shit.

Crosswalks? Good luck. The motto here is cars first, people second. Even if the pedestrians have the right of way.

Curious about the street signs? Some of the roads don’t even have street signs, not really sure how that works. The streets that do have signs are on a tiny sign that is on the sidewalk. The best part is that it is only on one side of the road, not both or in the middle even. I was walking down the street and couldn’t even see what street to turn on. I had to walk across the street just to read the sign, only to cross back over because I needed to go the other direction. This is a small street, but the larger intersections are the exact same setup.

The Haaretz reports in an article that:

“The percentage of pedestrians among all those killed in traffic accidents in Israel is significantly higher than in most industrialized countries, a study recently carried out by the Or Yarok (Green Light) road safety association shows. According to the findings, Israel is in third place in the world in the percentage of pedestrians killed in traffic accidents.”

My new diet consists of israeli salad (sliced up cucumber, tomatoes, onions, and radishes) with every meal. Oh, and with every meal there is always bread, always. I know what you are thinking, and the answer is yes, I have already gained weight. I have since eaten cow tongue (disgusting and I never want it again), I eat chicken liver once a week for Shabbat. I have also been served a fish with its head still attached, eyes included. That was new for me. I don’t really care much for it. It’s my same philosophy as chicken wings. A whole lot of work for not that great of a payout (insert ex-wife joke here). The picture to the right is a result of my mixed culture and upbringing. Its the Israeli Taco (and yes, I even resorted to an RC now and then..).

I will close with…McDonald’s sucks even in other countries.

No, that’s not my hand. But, I did cut the head off the fish!

A nice hair joined me for lunch: